A cosmic bitchslap to the face!

When it rains, it pours!  This saying has been in my head all week!  I am writing this blog, not for you all to feel sorry for me but I am writing it for me.  There are times that you just need to get things off your chest and this is one of those times!

There is no easy way to say it so I will just come out and say it, my car has to junked and I have to get a new one.  Now for some people that would be fine but for me its not something that I can really afford right now.  I guess I should start at the beginning of what happened to the car so you will understand whats going on.

I bought a 97 Mazda years ago at a dealership out of town because of my then boyfriend.  He has just bought his Blazer there and wanted me to get a car there.  So we went and looked and I found a car that I knew nothing about but it was blue in color and was about the cheapest on the lot.  Yes that is why I bought my car.  No other reason.  Since that time I have had nothing but problems with it.

I admit, it is very pretty to look at and when I drive it at least I don't think its a junker, even though that is what it has felt like.  I cant even tell you the amount of money I have put in.

(A little not here : I had much more written but I just lost it, maybe that was a sign to keep this short!  lol)

Anyhow I took the car in Tuesday when it started out as just a belt needed fixed.  Now its the belt, alternator, motor and transmission.  Yes all of that, none of which I know anything about.

What I do know it I have been told by a couple people that it needs to be junked.  I can maybe get $200 for it which it what I just spent on tires for it. 

Now another down fall for me, I cant get a loan for several different reasons, none I will go into unless I personally know you.  But lets just say an ex-boyfriend is to blame (not the same guy I was with when I bought my car). 

I do think we have a plan, thanks to my parents.  But the stress that was off my shoulders before is now back on them.  I need to budget things so I wont have to get a second job.  I had another job when I first bought the car and that helped a lot with payments.  I haven't had to deal with payments in years and the thought of payments again is a very scary thing for me.

So since I have to pay for weebly, a site which I like much better then blogger, it will have to wait a awhile longer.  I am also thinking about cutting back on a few things that I have monthly payments for.  One of those is Weight Watchers.  Even though I love going to the meetings and I have learned so much, it isn't something I need to do.  Even though its not that much a month, that money can be going for a car instead, which is something I need more then anything else! 

Small changes will get me what I need.  My sister told me today that "You will always get what you need, not necessarily what you want".  She is right.  I might not be able to get some of the things I want for my house and yard but I need a car and that is what I will get. 

So any of you that read this blog, if you could send me energy to find the strength that I need right now, it would mean the world to me!  I don't ask or want anything else but for you all to be there for me.  If the next couple blogs are me ranting a little, please bare with me, this will pass.  Things will be better again .

Thanks for reading and many blessings to you all!!!!